OK so here we go with another load of waffle (you may offer me beans and an egg !) about a game I rate tremendously highly. I don't often play older games but in this case I was way too late. It doesn't matter though, because it's akin to finding a really nice cake in your cupboard that you didn't realise you had, is still within its eatable date and you have fuck all else nice to eat in the house.
And that, chums, is what you get with Mirror's Edge. Mirror's Edge is a game that dares to take on something that we have yearned for for so long, but no one else has had the minerals to code. It assumes the role of first person platforming. Now I don't know if this genre has ever been attempted before, but if it has I can assure you it was probably shit because I haven't played it. (you will soon learn, readers, that anything I don't have is automatically deemed shit, so there).
The game itself is almost cell shaded but not quite. It is almost very detailed but not quite. I don't know if it was the intention of the people who coded it for it to be completely different in every way but it sure manages to pull off just that. I doff my cap to any one who dares to be different, but this game is so radical in so many ways that it commands a fucking oscar (or at least a good olde fashioned salad toss).
You start out as a very pretty Anime styled woman called Faith. Her name comes as no surprise, because a good sixty percent of the game relies on Faith (not the woman).
The game begins with you standing atop a very intimidating rooftop. It is here that you will learn the ins and outs of playing a platform game in first person perspective, but you will need to don your rubber pants as even the training is fucking pant pissingly hard. If memory serves I must have quit trying to get through the training course about five times, and each time it was usually met with - Cunt fucking motherfucker GOD DAMMIT I HATE THIS FUCKING GAME. Why is it so fucking STUPID motherfucker cocksucker ARGH.
Had it not been for M Lynch I would have easily just put it away never to see light of day again, or, snapped the fucking DVD in half. The learning curve really is that steep.
Now actually I have just remembered exactly where I kept failing. There is a part of the training that involes you leaping over a fence. However, this fence is just slightly too high to land normally from, so you need to press the right trigger on a control pad (don't even go there with a KBM) and this will send Grace into a roll to take the impact out of the fall. I forget what this move is called now, but I have see Bear Grylls pull it on his show, where he basically teaches you how to die (seriously that is one of the dumbest fucking shows EVER. He says he will teach you how to survive, then uses his incredible talents to scale fucking mountains. None of which is achievable by normal human beings). Any way, Bear will use this technique when nearing the ground in a parachute, rolling as he hits the deck. Sod it, you get the idea and if you don't then fuck it, I'm not going to waste more time trying to explain it.
It was here, born from my frustration and FUUUUUURIOUS ANGER (Samuel Jackson) that I had my first taste of success. and boy is it a massive taste. It's kinda like going to a michelin restraunt. When you pull a move in this game it is immensely satisfying, because it is immensely difficult to gain that satisfaction, so when you do you end up licking your lips.
Once through the training mission you are then thrown in at the deep end. You are then alone, mostly running for your life. This game differs because combat is not generally encouraged. You're better off taking the role of Forrest Gump - Run Forrest, run !. This method demands pinpoint accuracy and, shows one of the reasons why the first person platform game was not done before. Unless you stop to look at your feet you never quite know how close you are to the edge of a wall or balcony. This will lead to MDS (multiple death syndrome) and again that Everest sized learning curve will beat you about the face. The thing is, with that comes the immense satisfaction. Now I believe this sort of thing (though on a lesser scale) is actually performed by some mad frogs, and they call it Jack Jumping. Either way it's a fucking psychotic sport, with one slip taking your life.
As you progress you are taught new moves. Slides, double wall jumps, wall rides and so on. When you combine this lot together the shit you can pull is just other worldy. You can run along a balcony, jump into a wall sideways and run along it for a brief period of time before landing on another balcony. You can slide down steep slopes and basically run run run. The part that will get your heart thumping and the adrenaline pumping though is that for the most part you are not just doing high rise gymnastics, but more running for your fucking life. Enemies with big guns are often right behind you, and because you are in a first person perspective you never quite know how close they are. So, you just run and jump and swing and wall run as fast as you can to get away from them. Looking back means stopping and stopping means certain death.
Actually as I wrote the above and had a wonderful flashback of this game I remembered that at times I compared it to Killer Instinct. For those of you who can remember (and are old enough) Killer Instinct was an arcade fighting machine by Rare and Nintendo that involved massive combos. Pulling off these combos was amazingly satisfying, failing one means death. Mirror's Edge is basically combos of running, jumping and leaping coupled with swinging, wall running and so on. There is no room for error, as you are usually atop a twenty storey building, so mistake means death. Even the way you die will send a surge of adrenaline pumping through your vains. You begin to whoosh to the ground, things start to blur and you hear this horrible noise before you splat. And the thing that makes it all the more hard is that during a run you can not make a single mistake. There is no room for error, and it is incredibly unforgiving. You are usually running very fast and running for your literal life. And this, chums, is what makes this game so incredible.
When you finally reach the safety point for one of these runs you can take a break. You can slow down, take a look around at the beautiful scenery and then take a slow walk through a building, giving you just enough respite to calm your nerves and heart rate before the game picks you up and stuffs you out on a limb again.
And this is something the game manages to balance absolutely perfectly. The most difficult of the sections do allow you to take your time and look down at your feet in order to set them correctly before taking the next leap. The balance of this is just so perfect that it's incredibly hard to put into words. All of this can be easily missed and an experience lost if you do not force yourself to persevere. It would seem that many reviewers missed this also, which is a shame.
The only shame here is that the experience is a little short. Once you get good at it you will get really good at it, and once you get really good at it it does become a little bit easier. Now obviously the game does get harder as you progress, but if you managed to make it through the titanium like hard training level then you will have enough skill to climb anything in front of you.
But none of this matters. In honesty this game could have lasted an hour, because it is more about the experiences it provides. You won't have ever experienced them before, and you won't have since. It seems the platform game has been lost and forgotten in recent years with only Nintendo really bothering to bother with them. Sadly even Nintendo are guilty of re-releases of their platformers, so only Super Mario Galaxy (and sequel) really stand out as new ones in recent years. Sadly we have all turned rather belligerent over recent years, demanding shit Call of duty sequel after shit Call of duty sequel. And that is a crying shame, because of course video gaming is now all about money and when game producers look around them to see what is making the most money they will then make a game to capitalise on that money. And this is why I truly believe that the gaming world has gone rather stale and has begun to grow bits of green mold, rendering them only good enough to be scraped a bit and put in the toaster.
Thankfully there are a few quite inventive titles around, but not enough.
Not only does Mirror's Edge walk the walk, it also talks the talk. This is one of the few games to fully implement Nvidia's incredible Physx. Incase you weren't aware Physx is kind of like fucking when you are married. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does? boy oh boy oh boy, it's quite simply super. Physx is a PPU processor that can handle things like particles, wavey cloth, smashing small pieces and so on. In Mirror's Edge it really is used to the fullest and does make a huge difference. Now I do know that graphics do not usually matter but Physx in Mirror's Edge doesn't just add graphics. It adds another dimension.
Let me use a quick example. At one point in the game you have to run through an office with a glass partition wall whilst being shot at. As you run like the clappers past this glass partition it is shot out and with Physx beating the glass shatters into tiny pieces and rains down on you. With Phsyx disabled (on and ATI card, pew pew) it just isn't the same experience. Physx can go past looks and offer a complete new dimension. Sadly Physx is like fucking when you are married. *sigh*. As a second example of this there are certain levels where there are tarpaulin sheets. These flap around in the wind and you can rip through them. There are also clear rubbery ones that you can run through that will distort your vision slighty and you will be haplessly flapping your pad like a fucking idiot trying to brush them away from your face. And it just goes on, and on, and on.
So with all that said I will bring this to a conclusion.
I liked -
The graphics, the Phsyx, the way that this game made me produce more adrenaline and serontonin than any other game before. The fact that it is completely unique. The main Character Faith was as cool as dipping your bollocks into a chest freezer. The scariness, the horror movie like "he's behind you !!!". The way that this game can dish out sheer elation over and over and over.
I didn't like -
The learning curve. The way it made me really angry.
Other than that this game really is too good for words, so like one of those trick tests at school ignore all of the above and put your pen down and laugh at the stupid cunts who read it and are now drawing silly shapes on a piece of paper.
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